The disturbing new trend of disposable first marriages

I’m seeing this more and more from women all over the place. It isn’t about any particular woman; it’s an epidemic.

She starts as a single young woman. Living on her own, sharply independent, no one can control her, she’s always the smartest woman in the room.

As she grows in her career (and perhaps in the church) she thinks she’d like to have a husband. He can give her a few kids, help pay the bills, and, you know, do “ministry” or whatever with her. She has no intention of submitting to him or relying on his income. She wants a man who will give her what she wants while staying at a distance. So of course, she chooses a man who is intellectuially/emotionally beneath her. Her plan is to keep working for “her” money while he keeps up the house. When the kids come along, she plans to be a single mother with a live-in breadwinner. He will have very little say on how the kids are raised. She plans to undermine all of his disciplinary instincts and make sure the kids are happily enrolled in soccer/ballet/football whether they deserve it or not (and whether the family can afford it or not).

Shockingly, a man who is her intellectual inferior turns out to be a disppointment. She never saw that coming! The man she chose because he’s a doormat will act like a doormat to his friends and supervisors. She never saw that coming! His career isn’t growing as fast as she’d like, his friends are not the gentlemen she’d like them to be, and his perfomance in the bedroom is hardly the romance novel she thought it would be. The loser she married because he’s a loser continues to be a loser. Who saw that coming??

The Bible says she’s made a permanent, irreversible life choice? Heck no. She can’t believe she messed up her whole future with one mistake. She’s got to find a socially acceptable way to get rid of him.

Her rhetoric changes into negative predicates of her husband. Where he was once “supportive of her career” he is now “demanding her to work full time.” Where he once “let her have her own friends” he is now “socially unavailable to her.” He is lazy, promiscuous, controlled by his toxic mother, emotionally withdrawn, and — that precious golden goose — abusive. “My husband” soon becomes “my abusive husband.” “My marriage” soon becomes “my abusive marriage.” She keeps this up until she convinces a friend (usually a social-justice feminist) to help her move out. By now she’s so invested in the charade that she really believes he’s worse than Hitler.

She might even go so far as to claim she has PTSD (I’ve seriously seen this). When you ask her what abuse she endured, you get lots of vague mumbling about him hiding at a friend’s house and snapping when she texts him. Oh, and there’s also a scene where she walked in to catch him yelling at “her” child. The husband should have known there were extenuating circumstances for the child to go through his wallet, and he should have conferred with his wife for “all the information” before he jumped right to discipline. I mean, seeing someone go through your wallet is no excuse to yank it out of their hand, especially when the mother had (privately) told the child to do it. She was perfectly justified to correct him in front of the child. Then when he stormed out because he “obviously isn’t needed around here” this was proof of how he shirked on his fatherly duties.

Don’t you see how it all comes together? He “expected” her to work full time, he “expected” her to have her own friends and amuse herself, he “expected” her to do all the parenting and drive the kids to the dance class he didn’t want them in, and she simply can’t do it all alone, and now he’s listening to his mother telling him to hide his income. And he won’t let his wife inspect his phone! Can’t you see how much of a victim she is??

Any Christian who judges her is clearly an anti-feminist who defends abuse. She keeps up her campaign until the majority of her friends feel sorry for her. Then she cobbles together a biblical justification for divorce.

With that neatly taken care of, she cries herself to sleep every night because she’s “alone” and “financially struggling” and “in need of someone to hold her.” Voila, God doesn’t want her to suffer, so He promises to send her a second husband who will make everything right.

Yes there are valid cases of abuse, but I wasn’t born yesterday. From this point forward, I’m not discussing biblical grounds for divorce (or separation) with a woman until I’m convinced she’s not looking for excuses to dump him. Again, I’m not basing this on any one person. It’s a trend I’ve started seeing in multiple places. This forum will not become a feminist excuse-factory for second marriages.