Post by 2fw8212a on Apr 28, 2019 12:54:20 GMT -5
You probably already noticed that I have problems with human interaction in general, especially with women.
First that I see women as an something I cannot touch without express permission.
And it may be one of the reasons of why I never succeeded in starting a relationship with women.
In some way, it seems that I just do not understand women or how to successfully let them know that I am interested.
I do not make my feelings obvious to the external world. And some women may actually have been interested in me in the past (if I am not mistaken).
But as I do not react appropriately to their interaction, they probably thought that: I am not interested.
And they would forget me and lose hope.
Am I really not interested?! Well, I know I was interested many times.
But there were times I was not interested. And how hard it was, I wish that women I was interested in made that same effort.
Anyway, one of the hardest things to me is to start conversation with unknown people, especially women.
And it makes harder when I know that I am just willing to interact just because I am interested.
I am not the type of person who starts talking to unknown people randomly (especially women).
Then, I simply do not find a way to start conversation with women I am interested in.
It could feel like I am sinning (acting not of faith) if I try to do so.
And then it comes another problem, reacting to interaction is very hard for me as well.
And starting or reacting to interaction (especially intimate ones) is hard and it takes much more knowledge of the person for me to feel safe.
As a result, as you may already be imagining, is that I never succeeded with women (in whatever sense).
The biggest intimacy I had with women was that when I was 11 a girl just came (tenderly) and kissed my face (she was clearly [carnally] interested in me).
But I had no reaction at that time for the reasons I already explained.
And after that moment I was seriously interested in that girl (she was [carnally] beautiful to me). And it took some time for me to forget her and lose hope.
Another thing is that I am not the type of person who would just like to start something then at some random point say: Goodbye, I want a new thing.
Today, I see relationship as something serious and I do not know how I would feel after exposing so many things about me just to hear: I do not want you anymore (and in an indirect manner).
It would be better if I had never started to consider something, and I would have to overcome all that in order to be able to just want to try again.
I seriously desire a companionship, someone I could really help and sincerely love to the rest of life (a.k.a. marriage).
For all these reasons, I would expect a miracle to be able to know someone and marry with her.
Comments, rebukes, corrections, how harsh they may be... will cause me pain... but if they open my eyes... or create faith in me: They are welcome!
Blessings!
First that I see women as an something I cannot touch without express permission.
And it may be one of the reasons of why I never succeeded in starting a relationship with women.
In some way, it seems that I just do not understand women or how to successfully let them know that I am interested.
I do not make my feelings obvious to the external world. And some women may actually have been interested in me in the past (if I am not mistaken).
But as I do not react appropriately to their interaction, they probably thought that: I am not interested.
And they would forget me and lose hope.
Am I really not interested?! Well, I know I was interested many times.
But there were times I was not interested. And how hard it was, I wish that women I was interested in made that same effort.
Anyway, one of the hardest things to me is to start conversation with unknown people, especially women.
And it makes harder when I know that I am just willing to interact just because I am interested.
I am not the type of person who starts talking to unknown people randomly (especially women).
Then, I simply do not find a way to start conversation with women I am interested in.
It could feel like I am sinning (acting not of faith) if I try to do so.
And then it comes another problem, reacting to interaction is very hard for me as well.
And starting or reacting to interaction (especially intimate ones) is hard and it takes much more knowledge of the person for me to feel safe.
As a result, as you may already be imagining, is that I never succeeded with women (in whatever sense).
The biggest intimacy I had with women was that when I was 11 a girl just came (tenderly) and kissed my face (she was clearly [carnally] interested in me).
But I had no reaction at that time for the reasons I already explained.
And after that moment I was seriously interested in that girl (she was [carnally] beautiful to me). And it took some time for me to forget her and lose hope.
Another thing is that I am not the type of person who would just like to start something then at some random point say: Goodbye, I want a new thing.
Today, I see relationship as something serious and I do not know how I would feel after exposing so many things about me just to hear: I do not want you anymore (and in an indirect manner).
It would be better if I had never started to consider something, and I would have to overcome all that in order to be able to just want to try again.
I seriously desire a companionship, someone I could really help and sincerely love to the rest of life (a.k.a. marriage).
For all these reasons, I would expect a miracle to be able to know someone and marry with her.
Comments, rebukes, corrections, how harsh they may be... will cause me pain... but if they open my eyes... or create faith in me: They are welcome!
Blessings!