Post by Dezi on Apr 30, 2019 19:14:30 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
I don't think I made a thread when I started this forum last summer. Honestly, I met Abby-Joy on a youtube video discussion and was mostly here just to converse with her, but I have found myself in need of a place to learn and grow in the Lord. I am 48 years old... born in 1970. I got married when I was 22 to an older man with children. I was not much older than his kids. I helped to finish raising them and then became a foster parent. I went on to foster over 80 children in 10 years. Two of those babies became my adopted children. I struggled with a rocky marriage for 18 years and am now divorced for 8. I have gone to college on and off for many years but never finished my degree. I actually first attended a Christian College but learned very little about God during that year. Later, I began taking classes to become a nurse but didn't finish due to severe anxiety issues. I was put on several medications beginning in 1990 for anxiety. What I didn't know then is that I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). From all I've learned it causes severe anxiety problems, and I have been a poster child for the disease. In the last year I have come off of a Benzodiazepine that has made me very very sick mentally and physically. This has by far been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life. I can say that through it I have come back to my first love, the Heavenly Father! I am thankful for my renewed relationship with him and for His word! Without the help of the Father I would not have survived this horrible process of withdrawal. My daughter is 21 and has Asperger's syndrome... her syndrome has been the second biggest challenge of my life. I am at a place in my life where I want to understand more about the Lord and want to hear more from the Holy Spirit on how to be a better person each day. I have agoraphobia and have suffered to some extent from it for 25 years. The withdrawals have made my phone the worst its ever been. I want to receive God's healing but truly do not understand how to... I was raised Pentecostal (very loosely). I went because I wanted to as my mother was just an "occasional" church goer. I feel that my upbringing has in some ways made me a better person but in other ways I feel brain washed from a denomination. I'm still trying to decipher what was truth and what was lies from how I was raised. I know this is all over the place but my brain is still healing and, I am still not able to organize my thoughts well. Please bare with me as I suffer with memory loss and an inability to express my thoughts cohesively at the moment. I hope to learn more and more from being among other believers.
I don't think I made a thread when I started this forum last summer. Honestly, I met Abby-Joy on a youtube video discussion and was mostly here just to converse with her, but I have found myself in need of a place to learn and grow in the Lord. I am 48 years old... born in 1970. I got married when I was 22 to an older man with children. I was not much older than his kids. I helped to finish raising them and then became a foster parent. I went on to foster over 80 children in 10 years. Two of those babies became my adopted children. I struggled with a rocky marriage for 18 years and am now divorced for 8. I have gone to college on and off for many years but never finished my degree. I actually first attended a Christian College but learned very little about God during that year. Later, I began taking classes to become a nurse but didn't finish due to severe anxiety issues. I was put on several medications beginning in 1990 for anxiety. What I didn't know then is that I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). From all I've learned it causes severe anxiety problems, and I have been a poster child for the disease. In the last year I have come off of a Benzodiazepine that has made me very very sick mentally and physically. This has by far been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life. I can say that through it I have come back to my first love, the Heavenly Father! I am thankful for my renewed relationship with him and for His word! Without the help of the Father I would not have survived this horrible process of withdrawal. My daughter is 21 and has Asperger's syndrome... her syndrome has been the second biggest challenge of my life. I am at a place in my life where I want to understand more about the Lord and want to hear more from the Holy Spirit on how to be a better person each day. I have agoraphobia and have suffered to some extent from it for 25 years. The withdrawals have made my phone the worst its ever been. I want to receive God's healing but truly do not understand how to... I was raised Pentecostal (very loosely). I went because I wanted to as my mother was just an "occasional" church goer. I feel that my upbringing has in some ways made me a better person but in other ways I feel brain washed from a denomination. I'm still trying to decipher what was truth and what was lies from how I was raised. I know this is all over the place but my brain is still healing and, I am still not able to organize my thoughts well. Please bare with me as I suffer with memory loss and an inability to express my thoughts cohesively at the moment. I hope to learn more and more from being among other believers.