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Post by 2fw8212a on May 16, 2018 9:43:47 GMT -5
You people probably know more about me than anyone else near me (except the Lord obviously).
I do not talk to people, and they do not talk to me. It seems fair, but it harms me.
And when they talk I cannot keep a conversation, it is so hard... And then they do not talk to me anymore; it seems fair.
I feel like I am a movable object that only answers to commands and do nothing out of itself.
I do not desire or want anything for myself, except that I had more interaction with people.
At this moment I wished to cry, but I cannot risk and let others around me see me.
And I feel that I need this so much!
And I everything I do I must extract motivation and do it in the best way possible, and that is only possible if God gives me the grace to do it and feel great joy while I am at it.
And I confess that He is providing with everything I need when I am doing those things, that I certainly do not do for myself; because if it was then I wasn't doing.
Some people would feel like I am in danger of rebellion against God.
But I cannot deny the grace He has poured on me, then I have no excuse to do such a thing.
Then, do not worry about it; unless you are seeing I am mistaken.
I just have to follow the direction of God... And I am sure that His ways are best.
There are things that happens in my life, that it is clearly Him leading and working everything for me to do it.
Things that many would consider a blessing, but for me is just another thing I have to do for others.
It is OK that those things would benefit me as well... But if I was doing only because of me then I probably wouldn't have an interest to do it.
Please, just pray for me as you wish!
You are all loved!
God bless you in Jesus' name!
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 16, 2018 9:48:51 GMT -5
You are doing a great job of conversing with us! It has never occurred to me that you would have a problem with communication. I see in you and very intelligent and loving person who wants to encourage all of us in the faith.
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Post by John on May 16, 2018 10:19:52 GMT -5
You are talking to real people here. I know it isn't the same as looking them in the face, but we are real people having a real conversation. I perceive that when you try to get close to people, they attack you, partly for your obedience to God. Jesus said his true servants would be hated. Look how the early disciples were treated. Look at how Jesus was done! If you were of the world, the world would love you, but you are not.
I believe we have a true Christian fellowship here, and while this may seem a bit impersonal, it is better than being around wolves in the flesh. That is what you find in all too many of the churches.
What I don't get is why you say your life is over. Do you mean as in the old man has been crucified with Christ so he can live through you, or something else?
Praying.
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 16, 2018 10:40:31 GMT -5
What I don't get is why you say your life is over. It just came when I was returning from church today.
As I have said... I want friends and do not have, I want more interaction and I do not get it, I want to talk and I do not.
I see many people around me and I wished we could talk and this never happens, and when it does I fail and they do not talk anymore.
I feel like an object, as I said.
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Post by John on May 16, 2018 10:51:13 GMT -5
If people are avoiding you and ignoring you at your church, perhaps you need to find a different congregation. Are there other churches in your area?
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 16, 2018 10:53:16 GMT -5
If people are avoiding you and ignoring you at your church, perhaps you need to find a different congregation. Are there other churches in your area? The church is not the problem. There are many who are friend of each other there.
I feel like that in all places.
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Post by tlsitd on May 16, 2018 10:53:42 GMT -5
I'm praying for you, brother. We all go through difficult times---even times when we may wish our lives were over, as Job and Elijah and even Paul and Timothy did, because of grief or loneliness or suffering. I've certainly been through my share of very dark times, and battle them still---longing to be home with Lord and out of this body and this world. But as long as it is God's will for us to be here, there is a good purpose for it for us, and we should try to make the most of it---thinking beyond the present to the eternal future and finding our greatest joy in that prospect. We'll reap in due season, if we do not give up. And even now, there are things to be thankful for, if we reflect on and take notice of what God has done and is doing for us---though they may seem to pale in comparison to our present sorrows.
You're not alone, even if you feel that way. Jesus is with you, and sometimes He's the only companion we have, and we have to rely on Him to comfort us, and take comfort in the knowledge that He is with us and that we are doing what pleases Him and that He is pleased with us and loves us.
You're allowed to be sorrowful; you don't have to put on a smile and sing if you don't have the heart to do so. Jesus knows what you're going through and why, and what you need, and God works in all things for the good of those who love Him, to conform us to the likeness of His Son in spirit, which is for our eternal joy and not only for His glory---as well as to teach us things we need to learn. We must remember and trust in these things, so as not to sink into despair.
(Perhaps reading the Psalms might also be of comfort to you.)
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Post by tlsitd on May 16, 2018 11:04:19 GMT -5
What I don't get is why you say your life is over. It just came when I was returning from church today.
As I have said... I want friends and do not have, I want more interaction and I do not get it, I want to talk and I do not.
I see many people around me and I wished we could talk and this never happens, and when it does I fail and they do not talk anymore.
I feel like an object, as I said.You seem to be describing social awkwardness. Perhaps it would be easier for you to interact with people online than in person. People online are actual people, but the barrier of social awkwardness is eliminated when you interact with people online. And if you want in-person friendship, it might be a good idea to try to get to know just one person, rather than several, at a time. If people do not accept you for who you are or do not have an interest in what you are interested in, they're not really worth trying to befriend, in my opinion. At least not for personal reasons; maybe for the other person's benefit. But genuine friendship requires the desire and effort of both parties, and like-mindedness.
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 16, 2018 11:21:41 GMT -5
I have personally found that Sunday service is not a good time to get to know a new friend. Most people are dressed in their Sunday best and thinking about lunch by the time service is over. They are rarely in the mood to spend a lot of energy on making new friends. I agree with Sister Light, it is better to make one friend at a time, preferably online, and preferably over shared interests in a more casual setting. My two best friends are people I started to know long distance. Once we established a close bond, we met face-to-face, and then we couldn’t stop talking.
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 16, 2018 12:57:08 GMT -5
OK, the Lord heard your prayers! I'm feeling much better now.
God bless you all in Jesus' name!
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Post by John on May 16, 2018 13:13:21 GMT -5
Praise God. The Lord is good!
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 16, 2018 17:56:37 GMT -5
You are doing a great job of conversing with us! It has never occurred to me that you would have a problem with communication. I do not have a problem with communication.
It is lack of faith and discomfort when drawing attention to myself."So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 16, 2018 18:02:31 GMT -5
What do you mean you are a movable object? You have no dreams or ambitions for your life? Why do you feel like more social interaction would help?
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 16, 2018 18:10:21 GMT -5
What do you mean you are a movable object? I just wait and do what comes to me. You have no dreams or ambitions for your life? I am here to do what God wants me to do. And I know that He will work what is best for me. Why do you feel like more social interaction would help? Because I feel I miss it. It is good to have people around you. I am alone most of the time. It has passed many years since I have what I would call a real conversation.
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 16, 2018 18:12:29 GMT -5
Social interaction is difficult because you have trouble drawing attention to yourself?
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