Dezi
Junior Member
Posts: 431 
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Post by Dezi on Sept 29, 2019 11:34:50 GMT -5
I desperately need prayers... I have been off of the Benzodiazepines slightly over a year. I am still so messed up. The amount of damage in my brain seems irreparable to me. I am now in a deep depression as well as the intense fear/anxiety/and phobias. I have such intense bodily sensations that nobody could believe it unless they had experienced it. I know this is normal for benzo withdrawals but I have no hope. I have nobody to help me if my Mom passes... I am all alone in this world. I have nothing to go on for. I love God but I can't understand why I have to deal with all this or how to cope. I can't even read my bible anymore or concentrate on much. I can't remember what I've read after reading it. I have nothing left in me to fight with  |
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Post by John on Sept 29, 2019 12:01:39 GMT -5
Of course we will continue to pray for you, but be encouraged. Things often get worse before they get better and the devil loves to discourage people to get them to quit.
As far as your issues with the Bible goes, get an audio version and read along with it daily. Try brain exercises. If you don't mind paying for it, there are things like Luminosity, but you can help yourself by playing games like Simon and doing puzzles each day. Don't let struggles discourage you. Just exercise your mind each day. Don't give up.
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Dezi
Junior Member
Posts: 431
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Post by Dezi on Sept 29, 2019 14:36:30 GMT -5
Of course we will continue to pray for you, but be encouraged. Things often get worse before they get better and the devil loves to discourage people to get them to quit.
As far as your issues with the Bible goes, get an audio version and read along with it daily. Try brain exercises. If you don't mind paying for it, there are things like Luminosity, but you can help yourself by playing games like Simon and doing puzzles each day. Don't let struggles discourage you. Just exercise your mind each day. Don't give up.
Thanks John.... I do try to exercise my brain but it's not really helping. My brain is often times like in a manic state and can't relax enough to even think. I've never been manic but this withdrawal syndrome makes me feel it. I just need to know God is really there and I don't feel anything except anxiety. |
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Post by John on Sept 29, 2019 14:54:30 GMT -5
Of course we will continue to pray for you, but be encouraged. Things often get worse before they get better and the devil loves to discourage people to get them to quit.
As far as your issues with the Bible goes, get an audio version and read along with it daily. Try brain exercises. If you don't mind paying for it, there are things like Luminosity, but you can help yourself by playing games like Simon and doing puzzles each day. Don't let struggles discourage you. Just exercise your mind each day. Don't give up.
Thanks John.... I do try to exercise my brain but it's not really helping. My brain is often times like in a manic state and can't relax enough to even think. I've never been manic but this withdrawal syndrome makes me feel it. I just need to know God is really there and I don't feel anything except anxiety.
I would try to listen to and read along with at least a few chapters of the Bible each day. Try making a commitment to do that with 5 chapters a day. Even if you don't feel anything, do it anyway, and if you feel like reading along to more, do it. Keep on with the brain exercises, even if you don't think it is helping. Try to do this for half an hour each day minimum. You said you can't relax. That is likely because you are so full of anxiety about the awful picture of the future the devil has painted. Try to find something to take your mind off of that. When you start to have negative thoughts, take them captive and immediately reject them. If you have a safe place to do it, try taking walks. Listen to music you like. Find activities you can enjoy. It can be anything. Paint by numbers, crafts of some kind, just something to get your mind off of negative thoughts. I perceive that much of what you are struggling with is the devil speaking evil things in your mind.
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PG4Him
Senior Member
Essay Moderator
Posts: 3,570
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Post by PG4Him on Sept 29, 2019 14:54:45 GMT -5
Listen to me sister... you know your brain is misfiring. You know the feelings and sensations aren’t real. Of course anxiety and depression are the strongest sensations, because those sensations are the brain’s equivalent of expressing pain. A broken ankle hurts, and a broken brain depresses. It isn’t the reality of life outside your head.
It may be time for us to seek the Lord for a word for Dezi.
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Dezi
Junior Member
Posts: 431
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Post by Dezi on Sept 29, 2019 18:07:43 GMT -5
Thanks John.... I do try to exercise my brain but it's not really helping. My brain is often times like in a manic state and can't relax enough to even think. I've never been manic but this withdrawal syndrome makes me feel it. I just need to know God is really there and I don't feel anything except anxiety.
I would try to listen to and read along with at least a few chapters of the Bible each day. Try making a commitment to do that with 5 chapters a day. Even if you don't feel anything, do it anyway, and if you feel like reading along to more, do it. Keep on with the brain exercises, even if you don't think it is helping. Try to do this for half an hour each day minimum. You said you can't relax. That is likely because you are so full of anxiety about the awful picture of the future the devil has painted. Try to find something to take your mind off of that. When you start to have negative thoughts, take them captive and immediately reject them. If you have a safe place to do it, try taking walks. Listen to music you like. Find activities you can enjoy. It can be anything. Paint by numbers, crafts of some kind, just something to get your mind off of negative thoughts. I perceive that much of what you are struggling with is the devil speaking evil things in your mind.
Thank you! I will keep trying. My future seems grim because of all I've already been through in life and I am 48 with no husband or anyone. That doesn't feel to positive to me. I am so weary of being alone. I do appreciate what you have to say and I am trying to listen. |
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Dezi
Junior Member
Posts: 431
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Post by Dezi on Sept 29, 2019 18:08:16 GMT -5
Listen to me sister... you know your brain is misfiring. You know the feelings and sensations aren’t real. Of course anxiety and depression are the strongest sensations, because those sensations are the brain’s equivalent of expressing pain. A broken ankle hurts, and a broken brain depresses. It isn’t the reality of life outside your head. It may be time for us to seek the Lord for a word for Dezi. I need to hear something from the Lord so badly. I just don't know how to hear from Him in the middle of my brain being so crazy. |
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Post by John on Sept 29, 2019 18:19:36 GMT -5
I know God is really there with you. If I didn't know God was real, I wouldn't be here now. I wouldn't spend my time working for God if I didn't know He was real. What you are dealing with is not feeling His presence. Many different things can cause that to happen. Racing thoughts will cause that. Worry. Being bombarded by the voice of the enemy speaking negative things to you about what an awful future you face will do it if you accept it. One thing I noticed in your prayer request is how you have an awful view of your future, and it hasn't gotten here yet. You can have a wonderful future, but if all you have is negative thoughts, you can bring that to pass. People tend to act upon what they believe.
I would try to listen to and read along with at least a few chapters of the Bible each day. Try making a commitment to do that with 5 chapters a day. Even if you don't feel anything, do it anyway, and if you feel like reading along to more, do it. Keep on with the brain exercises, even if you don't think it is helping. Try to do this for half an hour each day minimum. You said you can't relax. That is likely because you are so full of anxiety about the awful picture of the future the devil has painted. Try to find something to take your mind off of that. When you start to have negative thoughts, take them captive and immediately reject them. If you have a safe place to do it, try taking walks. Listen to music you like. Find activities you can enjoy. It can be anything. Paint by numbers, crafts of some kind, just something to get your mind off of negative thoughts. I perceive that much of what you are struggling with is the devil speaking evil things in your mind.
Thank you! I will keep trying. My future seems grim because of all I've already been through in life and I am 48 with no husband or anyone. That doesn't feel to positive to me. I am so weary of being alone. I do appreciate what you have to say and I am trying to listen.
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