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Post by Tabitha3319 on Mar 22, 2020 18:07:19 GMT -5
Jesus is coaching me on when to voice concerns and when not to.
The error of modern women at large is the idea that sharing all your feelings and thoughts at all times is appropriate and helpful.
It's not. If you have a husband who likes to process things on his own before talking about them, you can really sabotage your own ability to provide Godly influence to your husband.
It's possible to overthink and go to the opposite extreme and feel like you always have to be silent. That s not necessarily biblical submission and my husband dislikes this. He likes when I have my own perspective and can defend it in ways he can understand
If you're a wife who's been practicing Ephesians 5 and submitting, a good husband will want to include you in the decision making process. Don't do what I did. Learn the right window of opportunity to voice concerns and opinions.
Is he super hungry? Is there an immediate crisis? Is he super exhausted? It might be good to look out for these things and avoid overstating during these times
I usually chose these moments for an unhelpful emotional outburst. That is amateur.
Pray for a good time, make some yummy food or whatever your husband likes. When things are relaxed, ask to discuss something calmly and bring up some brief talking points.
It will go a lot better.
And if your husband asks you your opinion, even better. That's your window.
I wish I'd known this advice earlier. The Holy Spirit leads to some fruitful discussions because of timing.
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Post by solid on Mar 23, 2020 7:02:52 GMT -5
You won't find better advice than you will get from God through the Bible and through understanding from the Spirit.
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Cletus
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Post by Cletus on Mar 23, 2020 17:54:28 GMT -5
Pro 15:23 A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!
Pro 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
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Post by John on Mar 26, 2020 6:13:46 GMT -5
I think that most husbands do want their wives input, and I also think they really consider it. What most do not like is when they are manipulated. What I mean is where their wife makes things miserable for their husband until he is forced to go along with things he does not really believe is right, and is supposed to act like he came to the same conclusions his wife did on his own, when he may just be going along to get along. Many wives control their husbands like that. They act like they are in submission, when they are really running things through emotional blackmail. It sort of becomes a game. But I do think that most men value the opinions of their wives, especially if they are married to God fearing women, and should put weight into what they say.
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Post by Tabitha3319 on Mar 26, 2020 7:32:10 GMT -5
I think that most husbands do want their wives input, and I also think they really consider it. What most do not like is when they are manipulated. What I mean is where their wife makes things miserable for their husband until he is forced to go along with things he does not really believe is right, and is supposed to act like he came to the same conclusions his wife did on his own, when he may just be going along to get along. Many wives control their husbands like that. They act like they are in submission, when they are really running things through emotional blackmail. It sort of becomes a game. But I do think that most men value the opinions of their wives, especially if they are married to God fearing women, and should put weight into what they say.
Respect goes further than just outward obedience. It has to come from the inside. My husband in particular is very perceptive. If my attitude isn't right, he can always tell. Emotional blackmail is a form of disrespect. The Holy Spirit is great for emotions. It's not good to be enslaved by them. |
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Post by solid on Mar 26, 2020 8:34:30 GMT -5
Amen. There are a lot of good points being shared in this thread. I do discuss things with my wife before making major decisions. Sometimes she notices things I don't.
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Post by Tabitha3319 on Mar 26, 2020 8:52:36 GMT -5
Amen. There are a lot of good points being shared in this thread. I do discuss things with my wife before making major decisions. Sometimes she notices things I don't. It is nice that you all like to hear from your wives. It's really not meant to be a constant power struggle. If there can be an agreement on the best way forward, that's always ideal. When a Godly wife is not on board, that's a sign that something might be wrong. Of course, if a wife disagrees over everything, the influence is compromised a bit. |
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Cletus
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Post by Cletus on Mar 26, 2020 21:11:13 GMT -5
a man is wise to consider what his wife says, not only because scripture tells man to consider what his wife says, but also because God has given woman a sensitivity to things men dont think on as much... relationships. also women tend to have insight on things men overlook, and she will mention it when man will be like its not a big deal. it will always bite you in the hind end if you fail to heed warnings shrugging it off as nagging. oh, and then she is going to tell you all about it. and its because a woman seeks security. men are risk takers. when the cookie crumbles because a man didnt listen... it can hurt her deeply in her feelings of her SELF WORTH. this can cause a falling apart of the order God intends in marriage between man and woman.
even more important for a man to do above listening to his wife is once he has heard and followed thru... to let her know how much he appreciates her council. bottom line here... God gave woman this part for marriage and man is foolish to ignore such a blessing. thats right fellas, foolish, and Mr. T is the only one who pities the fool.
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777
Senior Member
Teacher
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Post by 777 on Mar 27, 2020 10:19:27 GMT -5
I think that men do look at things different than women, and the two complement each other. We know that the husband has the final say Biblically, but it is foolish to ignore the feelings of your wife. Women can see things we overlook.
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Post by frienduff on Mar 27, 2020 17:29:44 GMT -5
I think that most husbands do want their wives input, and I also think they really consider it. What most do not like is when they are manipulated. What I mean is where their wife makes things miserable for their husband until he is forced to go along with things he does not really believe is right, and is supposed to act like he came to the same conclusions his wife did on his own, when he may just be going along to get along. Many wives control their husbands like that. They act like they are in submission, when they are really running things through emotional blackmail. It sort of becomes a game. But I do think that most men value the opinions of their wives, especially if they are married to God fearing women, and should put weight into what they say.
Let all that has breath , read this again . I HAVE SEEN THIS before . And if men are afraid to correct their wives for it , stand aside , I WILL . I SEEN THIS BUTERO . NOT FROM MY WIFE . NOPE . but i have seen it . they act all humble like , they act like their husband runs the show , YET at the first sign of any kind of disagreement with their own desire , and they manipuloate that man , like an old cur dog . I SEEN THIS way too much . ol frienduff has not fear to end it when i see it either . BUT at the same time , i have no fear to correct a husband who manipulates either . EITHER ONE must be fast corrected . |
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Post by John on Mar 28, 2020 9:20:36 GMT -5
I think that most husbands do want their wives input, and I also think they really consider it. What most do not like is when they are manipulated. What I mean is where their wife makes things miserable for their husband until he is forced to go along with things he does not really believe is right, and is supposed to act like he came to the same conclusions his wife did on his own, when he may just be going along to get along. Many wives control their husbands like that. They act like they are in submission, when they are really running things through emotional blackmail. It sort of becomes a game. But I do think that most men value the opinions of their wives, especially if they are married to God fearing women, and should put weight into what they say.
Let all that has breath , read this again . I HAVE SEEN THIS before . And if men are afraid to correct their wives for it , stand aside , I WILL . I SEEN THIS BUTERO . NOT FROM MY WIFE . NOPE . but i have seen it . they act all humble like , they act like their husband runs the show , YET at the first sign of any kind of disagreement with their own desire , and they manipuloate that man , like an old cur dog . I SEEN THIS way too much . ol frienduff has not fear to end it when i see it either . BUT at the same time , i have no fear to correct a husband who manipulates either . EITHER ONE must be fast corrected .
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Post by Tabitha3319 on Mar 28, 2020 18:14:35 GMT -5
I think that most husbands do want their wives input, and I also think they really consider it. What most do not like is when they are manipulated. What I mean is where their wife makes things miserable for their husband until he is forced to go along with things he does not really believe is right, and is supposed to act like he came to the same conclusions his wife did on his own, when he may just be going along to get along. Many wives control their husbands like that. They act like they are in submission, when they are really running things through emotional blackmail. It sort of becomes a game. But I do think that most men value the opinions of their wives, especially if they are married to God fearing women, and should put weight into what they say.
Let all that has breath , read this again . I HAVE SEEN THIS before . And if men are afraid to correct their wives for it , stand aside , I WILL . I SEEN THIS BUTERO . NOT FROM MY WIFE . NOPE . but i have seen it . they act all humble like , they act like their husband runs the show , YET at the first sign of any kind of disagreement with their own desire , and they manipuloate that man , like an old cur dog . I SEEN THIS way too much . ol frienduff has not fear to end it when i see it either . BUT at the same time , i have no fear to correct a husband who manipulates either . EITHER ONE must be fast corrected . I plan on doing a post that addresses women who purposely hurt a husband's feelings and emasculate them. |
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Let's read our bibles daily my friends