Post by Tabitha3319 on Mar 28, 2020 19:03:31 GMT -5
This one is addressed mainly to women but men can also chime in.
It's possible to unintentionally forget that men have feelings because they process and express them differently.
For example, I process difficult issues by talking and seeking advice.
A lot of men will do a single activity for hours.
"They're doing something physical in order to focus all the jumbled thoughts into an activity so you can think critically and clearly about the issue you're trying to solve." --- my husband's words.
They may not say a single thing. But after that time, they have a conclusion.
"Men try to find the best possible solution. But unlike women, they don't want to put out an idea unless it's the best possible solution."
Wow. I get solutions by putting out a smorgasbord of viable options. Often they all seem important.
"The activity allows me to think through the negatives to any solution I'm considering. If that doesn't work, you can definitely take it to God."
That's one example. In my experience, another example is how a lot of women are usually rather direct about our emotional needs.
Hubby said that can be a little overwhelming.
How he expresses his emotional needs was not always obvious to me. So I would miss tons of hints and clues that it was time to drop all my other activities and focus on him and his emotional needs.
A little bit of 100% focus goes a long way in a marriage. But a lot of men don't want to be obvious. They don't want to appear weak, vulnerable, or needy a lot of times.
I used to ask guys what they did when they cried. Did they just go hide in a closet somewhere?
A lot of them responded that they found a girl like a sister or girlfriend to cry with.
That's the beauty of being a wife. If you can overcome the gender language barrier and figure out what's needed--- you get to be that trusted person who sees the side that's hidden.
It's like that with God too. God reveals Himself and more sides of Him to those who are worthy--- who are truly seeking to understand.
So that's unintentional ignorance of men's emotional needs. Now I want to address women who get that men have emotions and use this to their advantage.
A lot of times these women have a messed up past, but that is no excuse. The pain you experienced from hurt should make you more empathetic to pain you inflict on others.
God will hold women accountable for things like belittling their husbands in public, insulting their masculinity, emotionally blackmailing them, trying to make them jealous by flirting in front of them, making demands and barking orders like they're pets, and insulting them to your children.
These are highly disrespectful and put men in an awkward position. If they refuse to put up with it, you play the victim like they're a bully. If they do put up with them, you insult them for being passive and unmanly.
God sees what you're doing. I don't want to watch women behave like this and do nothing anymore. The man may not say something. He may be in that awkward position.
But I'm not in that position. I see through the games, and I won't be silent.
No one should talk to anyone the way some women talk to men. It hurts them. It damages them. Some men are even driven to suicidal thoughts over the damaging words of their wives.
Being a wife is an opportunity to build. Why waste it by tearing down the gift God sent you?
It's not funny and I'm not laughing. It's very serious and it shouldn't be accepted the way it is now.
You can claim to be spiritual, but your spirituality means nothing if you can't control your disrespectful and manipulative attitude towards those closest to you.
A Christian woman should have actual fruit toward those around her.
We want to put the burden on men to fix everything but don't want to look at what we do that tears them down at every opportunity.
This is serious. God holds us accountable for this. He cares about His sons deeply too.
I'm tired of seeing women disrespect and belittle men and not saying anything. The more I think about it, the more I feel I need to be open about how I feel about women who emasculate their man in public.
It's possible to unintentionally forget that men have feelings because they process and express them differently.
For example, I process difficult issues by talking and seeking advice.
A lot of men will do a single activity for hours.
"They're doing something physical in order to focus all the jumbled thoughts into an activity so you can think critically and clearly about the issue you're trying to solve." --- my husband's words.
They may not say a single thing. But after that time, they have a conclusion.
"Men try to find the best possible solution. But unlike women, they don't want to put out an idea unless it's the best possible solution."
Wow. I get solutions by putting out a smorgasbord of viable options. Often they all seem important.
"The activity allows me to think through the negatives to any solution I'm considering. If that doesn't work, you can definitely take it to God."
That's one example. In my experience, another example is how a lot of women are usually rather direct about our emotional needs.
Hubby said that can be a little overwhelming.
How he expresses his emotional needs was not always obvious to me. So I would miss tons of hints and clues that it was time to drop all my other activities and focus on him and his emotional needs.
A little bit of 100% focus goes a long way in a marriage. But a lot of men don't want to be obvious. They don't want to appear weak, vulnerable, or needy a lot of times.
I used to ask guys what they did when they cried. Did they just go hide in a closet somewhere?
A lot of them responded that they found a girl like a sister or girlfriend to cry with.
That's the beauty of being a wife. If you can overcome the gender language barrier and figure out what's needed--- you get to be that trusted person who sees the side that's hidden.
It's like that with God too. God reveals Himself and more sides of Him to those who are worthy--- who are truly seeking to understand.
So that's unintentional ignorance of men's emotional needs. Now I want to address women who get that men have emotions and use this to their advantage.
A lot of times these women have a messed up past, but that is no excuse. The pain you experienced from hurt should make you more empathetic to pain you inflict on others.
God will hold women accountable for things like belittling their husbands in public, insulting their masculinity, emotionally blackmailing them, trying to make them jealous by flirting in front of them, making demands and barking orders like they're pets, and insulting them to your children.
These are highly disrespectful and put men in an awkward position. If they refuse to put up with it, you play the victim like they're a bully. If they do put up with them, you insult them for being passive and unmanly.
God sees what you're doing. I don't want to watch women behave like this and do nothing anymore. The man may not say something. He may be in that awkward position.
But I'm not in that position. I see through the games, and I won't be silent.
No one should talk to anyone the way some women talk to men. It hurts them. It damages them. Some men are even driven to suicidal thoughts over the damaging words of their wives.
Being a wife is an opportunity to build. Why waste it by tearing down the gift God sent you?
It's not funny and I'm not laughing. It's very serious and it shouldn't be accepted the way it is now.
You can claim to be spiritual, but your spirituality means nothing if you can't control your disrespectful and manipulative attitude towards those closest to you.
A Christian woman should have actual fruit toward those around her.
We want to put the burden on men to fix everything but don't want to look at what we do that tears them down at every opportunity.
This is serious. God holds us accountable for this. He cares about His sons deeply too.
I'm tired of seeing women disrespect and belittle men and not saying anything. The more I think about it, the more I feel I need to be open about how I feel about women who emasculate their man in public.
