|
|
Post by truthseeker on Jun 29, 2020 16:13:30 GMT -5
It might be more to the point if I titled it: My Dead Husband's Debauchery. I thought my husband was on his way to changing his behaviors. I now know that was all a lie. For 32 to 33 years out of our nearly 35 year marriage I was verbally and emotionally abused. About 12 weeks before his death my husband finally got to see what damage his abuse had done to our marriage. He promised to change and bought books and returned to therapy. Yet now I see by how far he read in those books, not very far, and by the disturbing news I got from my aunt's husband and my husband's nephew that my husband exhibited a whole pattern of behaviors common to abusers. Lying is one of the hallmarks of this behavior as well as covering up acts done to people. While going through papers, I've found that his behavior extended to all avenues of debauchery associated with being an abuser including child sexual abuse and an online affair through a porn site. I'm still in a state of shock with learning about my husband's behaviors and how far they reached. And about how his mother and aunt backed and supported him. They even told my niece, who is a survivor of my husband's sexual abuse, that she was at fault. His mother, knowing the extent of her son's sexual abuse of his sister, encouraged her son to get his teaching credential and teach the exact age children he was molesting. The shock of losing my husband has passed and now I'm dealing with the shock of his debauchery. Please pray for a peace about this through letting go and letting God handle this. Thank you. It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king's anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible. Hebrews 11:27 |
|
|
|
Post by naominash3 on Jun 29, 2020 17:01:30 GMT -5
It might be more to the point if I titled it: My Dead Husband's Debauchery. I thought my husband was on his way to changing his behaviors. I now know that was all a lie. For 32 to 33 years out of our nearly 35 year marriage I was verbally and emotionally abused. About 12 weeks before his death my husband finally got to see what damage his abuse had done to our marriage. He promised to change and bought books and returned to therapy. Yet now I see by how far he read in those books, not very far, and by the disturbing news I got from my aunt's husband and my husband's nephew that my husband exhibited a whole pattern of behaviors common to abusers. Lying is one of the hallmarks of this behavior as well as covering up acts done to people. While going through papers, I've found that his behavior extended to all avenues of debauchery associated with being an abuser including child sexual abuse and an online affair through a porn site. I'm still in a state of shock with learning about my husband's behaviors and how far they reached. And about how his mother and aunt backed and supported him. They even told my niece, who is a survivor of my husband's sexual abuse, that she was at fault. His mother, knowing the extent of her son's sexual abuse of his sister, encouraged her son to get his teaching credential and teach the exact age children he was molesting. The shock of losing my husband has passed and now I'm dealing with the shock of his debauchery. Please pray for a peace about this through letting go and letting God handle this. Thank you. It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king's anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible. Hebrews 11:27I understand. I will pray |
|
Cletus
Senior Member
Posts: 2,517
|
Post by Cletus on Jun 29, 2020 21:50:14 GMT -5
wow. that sounds like a hard thing to find out after so much time. I do not know if this will help at all but it seems like to me you are probably better off not being married to someone who is not truthful in who they are with others.
this may sound harsh but i suspect God is already working it out for you. just keep pressing in to God and His Kingdom.
will pray.
|
|
|
|
Post by truthseeker on Jun 30, 2020 4:29:01 GMT -5
wow. that sounds like a hard thing to find out after so much time. I do not know if this will help at all but it seems like to me you are probably better off not being married to someone who is not truthful in who they are with others. this may sound harsh but i suspect God is already working it out for you. just keep pressing in to God and His Kingdom. will pray. I 100% agree with you. It doesn't sound harsh to me. I feel such a freedom since my husband died. As if a heavy blanket was lifted from me.
Plus I have my own issues from childhood which I'm working through with a trauma specialist. I didn't know about my horrible childhood until 10 years ago.
|
|
|
|
Post by frienduff on Jun 30, 2020 7:46:22 GMT -5
And now it is high time to just move on . Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind and consume you . Let it all go and just Follow the LORD . Feasting more than ever upon the bible
and growing in the grace of our LORD .
|
|
ohhello
Senior Member
Global Moderator
Let us rejoice in the Lord Jesus!
Posts: 6,271
|
Post by ohhello on Jun 30, 2020 11:04:29 GMT -5
I have added you to my prayer list. Oh what a traumatic shock you are dealing with. My heart goes out to you.
Oh Lord, let us pray that you will bring your healing, peace, comfort, love, joy and fill truth seeker with all these things from you Lord.
Brother Frienduff is right, keep reading the bible too. Reading it also brings so much peace and rest to our souls.
I have recently lost my husband too. He suddenly and unexpectedly passed away on 29th May. Fortunately I had a loving and wonderful marriage with him and I still can’t believe he’s gone.
However, unfortunately your situation sounds very different. Remember, there is freedom in Christ. Jesus will and has set you free.
God bless you.
Becky.
|
|
|
|
Post by frienduff on Jul 2, 2020 18:07:23 GMT -5
I have added you to my prayer list. Oh what a traumatic shock you are dealing with. My heart goes out to you. Oh Lord, let us pray that you will bring your healing, peace, comfort, love, joy and fill truth seeker with all these things from you Lord. Brother Frienduff is right, keep reading the bible too. Reading it also brings so much peace and rest to our souls. I have recently lost my husband too. He suddenly and unexpectedly passed away on 29th May. Fortunately I had a loving and wonderful marriage with him and I still can’t believe he’s gone. However, unfortunately your situation sounds very different. Remember, there is freedom in Christ. Jesus will and has set you free. God bless you. Becky. Thats right dear sister . pray and keep praying . Praise the KING . |
|
|
|
Post by 4hizglory37 on Jul 2, 2020 22:55:09 GMT -5
Dear sister truthseeker, may the joy of the Lord be your strength and that as you praise the Lord Jesus in the midst of your situation, you will find peace! I also will keep you in prayer. I command and loose His angels to cover you in your dwelling, in your sleep, and in your life. May He be your strong tower in your need and covering of protection. blessings
|
|
|
|
Post by John on Jul 9, 2020 18:50:20 GMT -5
I am sorry I did not see this prayer request last week, but I will add it to tonight's prayer list. I am so sorry that things turned out as they did. It is hard to lose a family member, and I would imagine extra hard to lose a spouse, but it is worse to know things like this after the fact. Praying for you and your family.
|
|
|
|
Post by truthseeker on Jul 14, 2020 0:19:08 GMT -5
And now it is high time to just move on . Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind and consume you . Let it all go and just Follow the LORD . Feasting more than ever upon the bible and growing in the grace of our LORD . I wish it were that simple. This is complicated grief for many reasons. I'm working through the emotions surrounding this and it's part of grieving. Wish I could just move on and let it go. |
|
|
|
Post by frienduff on Jul 14, 2020 7:43:47 GMT -5
And now it is high time to just move on . Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind and consume you . Let it all go and just Follow the LORD . Feasting more than ever upon the bible and growing in the grace of our LORD . I wish it were that simple. This is complicated grief for many reasons. I'm working through the emotions surrounding this and it's part of grieving. Wish I could just move on and let it go. This should help . I can remember the evils i once did . Many they were too . Then one day the grace of GOD appeared and gave me a whole new hope and a whole new direction . All have sinned and all have done evil in their life . And yet Christ died that we could be reconciled to God . That all who do beleive would be saved and changed . Just the reminder of this gives me hope . If God for the sake of what JESUS did forgave me for all that moutain of sins of evil i did , then may i forgive any who does me wrong . We should feel sorrow for that man . Though he did much evil and much wrong against you and others just forget it . Worse it does not seem like he repented or knew Christ . That would mean bad news for him . its a burden even to think of where he might be right now . Let us focus on the HOPE we have in CHRIST and let us forgive any evil done against us by anyone . I am sorry for your suffering , but i am showing you the way out of this heavy burden . Let it all go and cling to the HOPE in CHRIST . Cling to the only HOPE we have , WHICH IS JESUS CHRIST . |
|
