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Post by 2fw8212a on Jun 23, 2018 8:37:23 GMT -5
I am the type of person that is almost unapproachable, talking to strange people is so hard that I cannot find what to say.
I do not greet people very often, I do when I feel it is necessary so they do not think I hate them.
I sincerely do not care if you greet me or not, I will still love you, but I feel some people can get very upset if you do not do it; and if you do it you must do it right.
Well, my social abilities are not that great... Especially due to lack of faith and disinterest.
But my difficulties are mainly with unknown people, it seems like I cannot pass from greeting... Mainly because I have nothing to say anymore.
And when they try to talk to me, I do not know what to say, they usually make questions I cannot answer.
I would have a lot more to say if we were talking about something I know very well.
I have had moments of extroversion, but all of them happened when I was among well known people or alone.
But I am silent for the most part of the day, even alone I do not talk audibly; I pass more time talking inwardly.
But people usually do not understand or think I have a problem... Well, I may indeed have a problem, but how to fix is beyond my understanding.
I feel like they REQUIRE that my extroversion is activated from nowhere.
But I cannot do it as I do not have the faith for this.
As I said all my moments of extroversion I had in my life were among very well known people or alone, and when I'm alone I do not speak audibly, even with myself.
Please, what do you think of this?! Is it something I have to change, is it indeed wrong or unacceptable?!
Hard truths are welcome... But I may need more than this.
Thank you and...
God bless you in Jesus' name!
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Post by tlsitd on Jun 23, 2018 9:17:58 GMT -5
I am the type of person that is almost unapproachable, talking to strange people is so hard that I cannot find what to say.
I do not greet people very often, I do when I feel it is necessary so they do not think I hate them.
I sincerely do not care if you greet me or not, I will still love you, but I feel some people can get very upset if you do not do it; and if you do it you must do it right.
Well, my social abilities are not that great... Especially due to lack of faith and disinterest.
But my difficulties are mainly with unknown people, it seems like I cannot pass from greeting... Mainly because I have nothing to say anymore.
And when they try to talk to me, I do not know what to say, they usually make questions I cannot answer.
I would have a lot more to say if we were talking about something I know very well.
I have had moments of extroversion, but all of them happened when I was among well known people or alone.
But I am silent for the most part of the day, even alone I do not talk audibly; I pass more time talking inwardly.
But people usually do not understand or think I have a problem... Well, I may indeed have a problem, but how to fix is beyond my understanding.
I feel like they REQUIRE that my extroversion is activated from nowhere.
But I cannot do it as I do not have the faith for this.
As I said all my moments of extroversion I had in my life were among very well known people or alone, and when I'm alone I do not speak audibly, even with myself.
Please, what do you think of this?! Is it something I have to change, is it indeed wrong or unacceptable?!
Hard truths are welcome... But I may need more than this.
Thank you and...
God bless you in Jesus' name! I don't think it's anything you have to change. Some people are naturally introverted and tend to be more private and others are more extraverted and gregarious. Everyone is different. God made you with the unique personality that you have as He wanted you to be. Provided your natural tendencies by disposition don't lead you to sin somehow (some people have a tendency to be short-tempered, for example, which is not Christ-like behavior, or to be impatient, or to be cynical or critical, or passive- aggressive, or to say the first thing that comes into their mind---things like that), and it's not preventing you from living for the Lord in the way you know He desires you to, I don't see any reason why you should fight to overcome your God-given personality. It's not a sin to be introverted or socially awkward, any more than it is to be tall or short or myopic. I personally am the sort of person who prefers to have a few close relationships rather than lots of superficial ones. I'm not a small-talker, and I don't enjoy being around people just for the sake of being around people. I'm too serious and introspective by nature, and too much of the Lord's mind about things to enjoy chit-chat about things that I don't really consider to be very important from the Lord's point of view. And as there aren't many people who are interested in the things that I am interested in---spiritual things primarily---I don't talk to many people. I'm polite and kind, and a very compassionate person by nature, but not really sociable, and not a "touchy-feely" person, like some naturally are (which is fine if that's their personality). But that's not something I've ever felt guilty about or had any conviction from Jesus that I need to change. Just sharing that to show you that everyone is different, and there is no single kind of cookie-cutter personality that God wants all Christians to have---just His character and mind. |
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PG4Him
Senior Member
Essay Moderator
Posts: 3,570
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Post by PG4Him on Jun 23, 2018 9:54:06 GMT -5
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. (Proverbs 10:19)
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19)
Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. (Proverbs 21:23)
Our modern culture is addicted to noise. People feel like they have to talk all day. But the Bible tells us there's value in silence. There's no Biblical reason for you to feel like you have to talk to everyone.
This is what we were discussing in Bible study Wednesday night. You may think that other people are talking with a purpose for good reasons -- but that's not always true. Many people talk just to make noise, and they have no real purpose for it. Many people start a discussion with you because they really want to talk about themselves.
Don't ask for faith to be able to talk too much. Be yourself. If others don't like it, that's their problem.
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Post by 2fw8212a on Jun 23, 2018 11:09:43 GMT -5
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Post by Misherellu on Jun 23, 2018 17:36:06 GMT -5
You have us to talk to for advice.  We'll be supportive. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2018 19:14:36 GMT -5
Brother, not knowing you in person, but only from what you have written.....if this is something that troubles you, I can only suggest praying about it to the Lord if and ask Him how HE sees it, whether the Lord sees it as being a problem or not a problem. And if so, how does He see the problem, the root cause of it. (For me the Lord speaks and answers usually through the scriptures, though He may choose to speak in other ways to others.) He may answer quickly, or it might be a long time in His wisdom before He begins to answer. Whether you see or hear anything right away or not, just know and trust that the Lord IS working everything in your life together for your good, and He may begin to work on a problem in unseen ways unbeknownst to you. There are times when He even allow us in His wisdom to be afflicted with something for quite a long while, because out of affliction....the fruit of patience is born. When we come to faith in Christ and receive a deposit of the spirit, we may be delivered of some bondages, but not necessarily all. The Lord promised the children of Israel that He would drive out their enemies from before them little by little, AFTER they had crossed over.....so we often find we have battles to fight as we go along, in taking more ground for Him in our heart and life. The important thing is to be faithful in all that we know, obeying and following the Lord day by day and He WILL lead us to go from glory to glory, from victory to victory, in whatever further areas we may need. I have found in my life that some problems of mine the Lord healed miraculously, and other problems just got left behind gradually as I kept walking on with the Lord. So I would say on the one hand do not be troubled, because His grace is sufficient, and on the other hand whenever you are troubled to bring it to the Lord and cast it on Him for He cares for you. Bless you brother, I hope some of that might be helpful. |
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Post by 2fw8212a on Jun 23, 2018 20:45:49 GMT -5
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Cletus
Senior Member
Posts: 2,517
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Post by Cletus on Jun 24, 2018 23:02:03 GMT -5
sometimes its good to look at things from a different perspective. being an introvert, you cherish things more, things are more special inwardly, you tend to take ideas/issues/circumstances/comments to heart and you do not need external stimulus to receive satisfaction...its quite the opposite, is it not? You prefer genuine heartfelt and true things rather than bling-bling. how is this a problem? its a gift, especially for a christian. When you think there is a deficiency, its time to stop and count your blessings.
I would suggest to you to pray and ask God to show you how you should greet people and converse with people you dont know to well if it bothers you that much. but God knows your heart. God loves you and accepts you as you are. what i would say is do unto others as you would have others do unto you. how do you want to be greeted? is that a word... greeted? anyway, thats how you greet folks.
I am not big on jaw-jacking either. I actually dont greet people at all unless they greet me. well i guess if our eyes lock, and its a close quarters i do or if i can see The Spirit on them. and i am quiet around people until i trust them or at least know enough about them on how to respond to them.
if you ever had a traumatic experience/time in life it may be a contributing factor as you said something about when you are alone you dont talk audibly. people with ptsd tend to script past or future conversations or even fantasy conversations. I know you didnt say that specifically, just throwing that out there. and if it did happen you dont have to tell anyone about it if you dont want to.
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Post by justinadams on Jul 1, 2018 7:06:01 GMT -5
Very kind advice here.
If you were to take the erroneous words and emotions of Jung and Freud away from our psyche-language that invades every corner of our lives... If you did this, and negated all the nonsense that the unwashed and ill educated members of our current post-modern intelligentsia promote...
If you can get all these noises out of your head, then you might find you are just the way God planned!!
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We'll be supportive. 
