Post by John on Jul 13, 2018 19:16:53 GMT -5
This is a difficult topic, because we are living in a day where so many are effected by divorce. I remember seeing some old television shows from back in the 50s, and you would have a story line about a new neighbor being divorced, and how this was considered a shameful thing. It wasn't that the person was being condemned, but it was just known that divorce was wrong. Now we are living in a day where they say half of all marriages will end in divorce. As such, I felt the need to start a thread dealing with what the Bible says about this subject. Let's start at the beginning, in the law of Moses. There is one passage that tells about obtaining a divorce.
WHEN a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; of if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance. Deut. 24:1-4
That is what the law of Moses says about divorce and re-marriage. To me, the key words are "some uncleanness," which I will return to later. Now let's move to another Old Testament passage. This one is found in Malachi 2:14-16.
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of thy youth. For the LORD God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
So first you have an allowance for divorce, if the husband has found some uncleanness in his wife, followed by a passage that says God hates "putting away" or divorce. That tells me that even under the Old Covenant, it was not God's plan to make divorce easy or for frivolous things. I believe all of Israel understood that, including the religious crowd that tempted Jesus with questions about divorce. Let's move to the New Testament. Matthew 19:3-12
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs , which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Remember in the law of Moses the phrase, "some uncleanness." The question asked by the Pharisees was whether or not it was lawful for a man to put away his wife for any cause, and they knew full well it was only for "uncleanness," and that Malachi said God hates divorce. They really knew better, but they were tempting Jesus. They loved to do that with hard questions, trying to trap him in his words. Jesus clarifies that by uncleanness, this is some kind of sexual immorality, and that was only allowed because of the hardness of man's heart. To get a divorce and then re-marry for any other reason besides fornication is to commit adultery. Pretty straight forward. When the disciples pressed him on the matter, he mentions how some men become eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. I am sure this took them by surprise, because they were likely hoping for some kind of exception to what Jesus just told them, and he didn't give it to them. Nothing about it not being good for man to be alone or God understanding. Pretty tough saying, and one that Jesus said every man cannot receive.
One thing I want everyone to notice is that in the law of Moses, if you do divorce and re-marry, you are never allowed to reconcile with your first spouse. Many go around teaching a false doctrine that your second marriage is not legitimate, so you must split up and return to your first spouse. Not according to the Bible. That is a worse sin than the first. It is also not true that God doesn't recognize the second marriage, even though the person may be guilty of adultery. Remember the woman at the well? God recognized all of her marriages and made a distinction that at the present time, she was living with a man she wasn't married to. God does recognize it, even a sinful marriage. I want to address what some call Paul's exception, and it is very specific. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases; but God hath called us to peace.
We know that according to scripture, we are not to become unequally yoked with an unbeliever, which means a believer is not to marry an unbeliever, so we have a very specific situation here. What we are dealing with is two people that get married while they are sinners, and one gets saved, while the other does not. If the unsaved person wants to remain with the saved person, they are to allow them to remain. If on the other hand, the unbeliever abandons the believer because of their new found faith, the believer is not in bondage in such cases, so it is presumed they could re-marry if a divorce takes place. I believe the reason for this is because the old man died when that person got saved, so the new creature in Christ is not the one that chose that person for their spouse, and the unbeliever no longer has anything in common with the believer. This is not dealing with every case of abandonment.
That is really all we have to work with on this topic. There are other scriptures within the law of Moses that deal with situations where divorce is not permitted or issues related to children, but nothing directly addressing what is lawful. If adultery is not the reason for the divorce, and a re-marriage takes place, God says those people are guilty of adultery. As such, my counsel is not to get a divorce for any reason except adultery, ever. Not for abuse, not for anything, if you plan to re-marry. Of course we have Paul's exception. Anything beyond this is not Biblical. Here is where things get dicey. What do we do when people disobey God and divorce and re-marry for reasons that are not Biblical? There is no clear cut answer. All we are left with is our best judgment on a case by case basis. That is why it is always best to simply obey Christ so we aren't faced with what to do when we didn't listen.
I am going to give you my opinion, and that is all it is, because ultimately, we must all stand before God as an individual. I do not see divorce and re-marriage as an unpardonable sin. The Bible doesn't even say you will be in a permanent state of adultery, though people will call you an adulterer. My position is to repent of violating God's standards, commit your marriage to the Lord, and stay together till death do you part. My thinking here, besides the fact it is not mentioned as unpardonable is that if you get another divorce, you have once again done something God hates, according to Malachi. You have put away your spouse, and God does recognize that marriage, as is seen with the woman at the well. You are also likely to re-marry down the road because of loneliness and sin again, or cause your spouse to sin again when they remarry. What are the odds both will remain single? Not very good.
Anyway, I gave you what God says, and that is all that anyone can say is absolute truth. My opinion is just my opinion as to what to do if you didn't obey God, but now you are genuinely sorrowful. Let me say that I mean real Godly sorrow. I once encountered a man who knew he was getting a divorce for reasons other than fornication, and he was a minister, and he also planned to re-marry. He made a joke about how he would repent later, because he never took what God said serious. God knows when we are playing games with him.
WHEN a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; of if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance. Deut. 24:1-4
That is what the law of Moses says about divorce and re-marriage. To me, the key words are "some uncleanness," which I will return to later. Now let's move to another Old Testament passage. This one is found in Malachi 2:14-16.
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of thy youth. For the LORD God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
So first you have an allowance for divorce, if the husband has found some uncleanness in his wife, followed by a passage that says God hates "putting away" or divorce. That tells me that even under the Old Covenant, it was not God's plan to make divorce easy or for frivolous things. I believe all of Israel understood that, including the religious crowd that tempted Jesus with questions about divorce. Let's move to the New Testament. Matthew 19:3-12
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs , which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Remember in the law of Moses the phrase, "some uncleanness." The question asked by the Pharisees was whether or not it was lawful for a man to put away his wife for any cause, and they knew full well it was only for "uncleanness," and that Malachi said God hates divorce. They really knew better, but they were tempting Jesus. They loved to do that with hard questions, trying to trap him in his words. Jesus clarifies that by uncleanness, this is some kind of sexual immorality, and that was only allowed because of the hardness of man's heart. To get a divorce and then re-marry for any other reason besides fornication is to commit adultery. Pretty straight forward. When the disciples pressed him on the matter, he mentions how some men become eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. I am sure this took them by surprise, because they were likely hoping for some kind of exception to what Jesus just told them, and he didn't give it to them. Nothing about it not being good for man to be alone or God understanding. Pretty tough saying, and one that Jesus said every man cannot receive.
One thing I want everyone to notice is that in the law of Moses, if you do divorce and re-marry, you are never allowed to reconcile with your first spouse. Many go around teaching a false doctrine that your second marriage is not legitimate, so you must split up and return to your first spouse. Not according to the Bible. That is a worse sin than the first. It is also not true that God doesn't recognize the second marriage, even though the person may be guilty of adultery. Remember the woman at the well? God recognized all of her marriages and made a distinction that at the present time, she was living with a man she wasn't married to. God does recognize it, even a sinful marriage. I want to address what some call Paul's exception, and it is very specific. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases; but God hath called us to peace.
We know that according to scripture, we are not to become unequally yoked with an unbeliever, which means a believer is not to marry an unbeliever, so we have a very specific situation here. What we are dealing with is two people that get married while they are sinners, and one gets saved, while the other does not. If the unsaved person wants to remain with the saved person, they are to allow them to remain. If on the other hand, the unbeliever abandons the believer because of their new found faith, the believer is not in bondage in such cases, so it is presumed they could re-marry if a divorce takes place. I believe the reason for this is because the old man died when that person got saved, so the new creature in Christ is not the one that chose that person for their spouse, and the unbeliever no longer has anything in common with the believer. This is not dealing with every case of abandonment.
That is really all we have to work with on this topic. There are other scriptures within the law of Moses that deal with situations where divorce is not permitted or issues related to children, but nothing directly addressing what is lawful. If adultery is not the reason for the divorce, and a re-marriage takes place, God says those people are guilty of adultery. As such, my counsel is not to get a divorce for any reason except adultery, ever. Not for abuse, not for anything, if you plan to re-marry. Of course we have Paul's exception. Anything beyond this is not Biblical. Here is where things get dicey. What do we do when people disobey God and divorce and re-marry for reasons that are not Biblical? There is no clear cut answer. All we are left with is our best judgment on a case by case basis. That is why it is always best to simply obey Christ so we aren't faced with what to do when we didn't listen.
I am going to give you my opinion, and that is all it is, because ultimately, we must all stand before God as an individual. I do not see divorce and re-marriage as an unpardonable sin. The Bible doesn't even say you will be in a permanent state of adultery, though people will call you an adulterer. My position is to repent of violating God's standards, commit your marriage to the Lord, and stay together till death do you part. My thinking here, besides the fact it is not mentioned as unpardonable is that if you get another divorce, you have once again done something God hates, according to Malachi. You have put away your spouse, and God does recognize that marriage, as is seen with the woman at the well. You are also likely to re-marry down the road because of loneliness and sin again, or cause your spouse to sin again when they remarry. What are the odds both will remain single? Not very good.
Anyway, I gave you what God says, and that is all that anyone can say is absolute truth. My opinion is just my opinion as to what to do if you didn't obey God, but now you are genuinely sorrowful. Let me say that I mean real Godly sorrow. I once encountered a man who knew he was getting a divorce for reasons other than fornication, and he was a minister, and he also planned to re-marry. He made a joke about how he would repent later, because he never took what God said serious. God knows when we are playing games with him.