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Post by John on May 21, 2019 5:06:43 GMT -5
I have another question... according to what I've been reading it seems that my marriage to my ex husband was an adulteress relationship... so was it really a marriage? Or have I really never been married? I am still confused on this subject. Based on what Jesus said to the woman at the well, it was seen by God as a marriage. This is where we get into differences of opinion of what to do. If you were still in that marriage, I would say that now that you know better, you need to ask God to forgive you for having joined with someone you shouldn't have, commit your marriage to God, and never divorce again. Some would say you have to split from him and live single going forward. Neither of these things apply in your situation because you divorced him and he re-married.
The only possible grounds you would have for being free from that marriage is that his re-marriage slammed the door on reconciliation, plus he is guilty of adultery. The problem is, the divorce was not for fornication, and you divorced him, causing him to commit adultery, along with the woman he married. The situation is not one where anyone can tell you with confidence that to re-marry would be alright. That is why I, and others, have suggested you find out all you can on the matter, pray about it, and make sure that you know the mind of God. Just make sure it is the mind of God, because you want the answer to be to have the go ahead, so that can easily influence you into thinking God is giving a green light, when maybe he is not. Be 100 percent sure before proceeding. You may need to pray about this for a while, but God still speaks to us. He can give you the answer if you seek him with sincerity and faith.
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 21, 2019 6:58:21 GMT -5
Calling Dezi ... Based on what Jesus said to the woman at the well, it was seen by God as a marriage.
I disagree. And I will explain why.
Jesus asks the woman to call her husband:
"Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”" - John 4:16
The woman says she has no husband (acknowledging that her current union is not legitimate).
"The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.”..." - John 4:17
Jesus confirms she was right.
"...Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands,
and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly." - John 4:18
"...Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.
And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery..." - Mark 10:11-12
"So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress..." - Romans 7:3
"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband is not to divorce his wife." - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
If she (Dezi) was married to a man that was already married, then my conclusion is that he was committing adultery.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." - Mark 10:9
I believe it is true that she (Dezi) married a person she couldn't have been married to in the first place.
"Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent..." - Acts 17:30
Then, if she (Dezi) married someone who was in adultery I do not believe God would see that as a legitimate marriage as that man was already married to another.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." - Mark 10:9
Obviously, ask God for confirmation in all I have said.
"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." - John 7:24
Blessings!
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Post by John on May 21, 2019 7:17:33 GMT -5
What I see in Jesus' words to the woman at the well was she had been in 5 marriages and was now shacked up. It is doubtful she was a widow 5 times, so I would figure she was divorced multiple times.
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Post by John on May 21, 2019 7:23:36 GMT -5
Another thing is that her ex-husband's divorce was as a result of sexual immorality. It doesn't matter who cheated, the marriage ended for the cause of fornication, so Dezi wasn't in an adulterous marriage.
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 21, 2019 7:28:30 GMT -5
“We were never really married” is one of the biggest myths sweeping through the church to justify divorce/remarriage.
There’s nothing in the Bible — nothing —where God says a marriage made in sin doesn’t count.
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 21, 2019 7:43:27 GMT -5
“What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” 1 Corinthians 6:16
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 21, 2019 10:25:54 GMT -5
“We were never really married” is one of the biggest myths sweeping through the church to justify divorce/remarriage. There’s nothing in the Bible — nothing —where God says a marriage made in sin doesn’t count. Then people requires to be a virgin in order to marry?
I mean, say someone committed adultery (sex without formal marriage).
You could say that person was joined with other (married):
"and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh." - Mark 10:8
"Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." - Mark 10:9
If that person goes and marries another will that be adultery?
"If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed,
and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife." - Exodus 22:16
"...and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days." - Deuteronomy 22:29
It is a big mess people do these days. I would probably avoid marrying altogether if I was not virgin.
"But He said to them, All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given..." - Matthew 19:11
But if my future wife is not virgin... Could I still marry her?
Blessings!
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Post by John on May 21, 2019 11:15:22 GMT -5
“We were never really married” is one of the biggest myths sweeping through the church to justify divorce/remarriage. There’s nothing in the Bible — nothing —where God says a marriage made in sin doesn’t count. Then people requires to be a virgin in order to marry?
I mean, say someone committed adultery (sex without formal marriage).
You could say that person was joined with other (married):
"and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh." - Mark 10:8
"Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." - Mark 10:9
If that person goes and marries another will that be adultery?
"If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed,
and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife." - Exodus 22:16
"...and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days." - Deuteronomy 22:29
It is a big mess people do these days. I would probably avoid marrying altogether if I was not virgin.
"But He said to them, All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given..." - Matthew 19:11
But if my future wife is not virgin... Could I still marry her?
Blessings! No. Sex outside of marriage is fornication, but not adultery. No, the person who slept around is not in adultery if they marry. Still, fornication of any kind is a serious sin. If someone were to mess around with a person who was engaged, under the law of Moses, that was considered adultery. And yes, if someone was following the law of Moses, if they slept with a person who was single (fornication), they were expected to marry that person. We are living in a day where few have any regard for God's laws or standards.
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 21, 2019 11:24:19 GMT -5
But if my future wife is not virgin... Could I still marry her?
No...
Is that what you meant?
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Post by John on May 21, 2019 11:25:40 GMT -5
If she was never married or a widow or divorced because of adultery, you could.
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Post by 2fw8212a on May 21, 2019 11:30:53 GMT -5
If she was never married or a widow or divorced because of adultery, you could. "Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God.
Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves." - Romans 14:22
"Therefore, having been justified by faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ..." - Romans 5:1
"But he who doubts is condemned if he eats,
because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin." - Romans 14:23
"Do we then make void the law through faith?
Certainly not! On the contrary, we establish the law." - Romans 3:31
"...this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days,
says the Lord: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts..." - Jeremiah 31:33Blessings!
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 21, 2019 12:10:36 GMT -5
Sex before marriage in the Bible was assumed to lead to marriage. It was as good as getting married. People who did that in the Old Testament were told to get married or else. Today we are so far removed from the standards of the past that we can hardly recognize what used to be normal.
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PG4Him
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Post by PG4Him on May 21, 2019 12:13:08 GMT -5
If a sinful woman came to Jesus after having sex with her boyfriend, and she and her boyfriend were both still available, then she should buckle down and try to make it work with him. Only if she comes to the Lord after that boy has moved on and is with another woman would that no longer be an option to her.
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Dezi
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Posts: 431
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Post by Dezi on May 21, 2019 12:28:36 GMT -5
I have researched this in depth the last few days... My conclusion comes with reading and what the Holy Spirit revealed to me. When you are married there is nothing that ends the marriage in God's eyes. We say in our vows that we will remain true until death does us part. We don't say unless you cheat. So, there is no real grounds for divorce. Yes God allows it and he allows us to put someone away if they cheat, but we are supposed to pray for reconciliation. We are never supposed to divorce period. This is the way God set it up from the beginning as the Word tells us in the New Testament. There is no such thing as remarriage. Yes the Law of man allows it because it's corrupt. Nearly the entire Old Testament is talking about God's marriage to Israel and how she cheats or commits adultery on God, and he only puts Israel away waiting for the time to reconcile with her. Our marriages are to exemplify God's marriage to Israel. There are quite a few scriptures that say a man and woman are never to divorce and they will be committing adultery if they are with someone else. The Word of God doesn't contradict itself. This may not make sense to us, but our ways are not God's ways. He created everything to work the way he wanted it to so that all is pure and Holy in His site. There should never ever be a remarriage. Yes, I know in my heart that I was living in adultery with my ex. This is a hard pill to swallow, but it's true. I will have to stand before God for being ignorant to His Word. I will have to live with all the consequences of my sin. I already have been for many many years. I have done other things that are also contrary to God's word, and I have to live with that as well. As far as the woman at the well being married 5 times.... she Was married in the site of men but not in God's order of things. That is what I feel the Lord has revealed to me. Anything else makes no sense. God expects us to keep our vows. Marriage is a Covenant and not something that is allowed to be broken. We can do it our way as we do most things "our" way and we will reap the consequences. I'm not good yet at giving the scriptures for everything I say but I've read them all and they are in the Bible. I am attaching an article that helps put my own thoughts together ... I have read many things and watched videos on this subject too. I have also spent the last year and a half reading the Word of God and this is truly what the spirit has revealed to me on this subject. As far as me being free to marry... I really don't know what I feel on that subject, yet, but I am sure God will reveal to me what I should do. I won't be marrying this man as he is still bound to his wife according to scripture. He claims she cheated, but I don't know for sure. But, my feelings are that he is still married to her in God's eyes. I do not ever want to be with another man that is still married! I have never been married in God's eyes. So, I can never be married to a "divorced man" again! It doesn't matter to me why someone leaves their spouse... it is wrong and not what God has ordained. www.desiringgod.org/articles/until-death-do-us-part-for-real
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Post by John on May 21, 2019 12:44:26 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing that Dezi. I do want to ask you one thing. When you say you were never married in God's eyes, do you mean because the marriage was illegitimate because your ex was in adultery?
I want to encourage you in one thing. If you repented of the adulterous marriage, that sin stain is washed away. You don't have to live in guilt and shame over what God has forgiven, but you may have to live with earthly consequences.
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